Customer Service

Who came up with that name? First a disclaimer: Many times when I call a help line, I speak with pleasant, knowledgeable people and I always express my heartfelt thanks for a clear, simple answer to my problem. That is clearly service. It's the other times that stick with me. Some "service" reps are rude from the outset, making it clear that my very existence irritates them. Some provide a solution that doesn't help at all. But the absolute, hands-down worst, are the ones with a script and no interest in or ability to think past it. A few months ago I tried a new medical device. It would have made my life much easier. This wasn't a test item. It was on the market. It worked for two weeks and then went bonkers. The readings were all over the place with no rhyme or reason. I reviewed the instruction booklet. I'll refer to the possible issues listed as A, B and C. None of them applied to my case. Keep in mind that when I use those letters, I always mean the exact same thing. On three separate occasions, I called and explained my problem, that I'd checked A, B and C and that I wanted to know what went wrong. Each time, the first thing they did was review A, B and C. I remained patient. They kept saying, "I understand your problem," which they clearly didn't. Pressing to get a useful answer, I rephrased my query in as many ways as I could, hoping to trick them into revealing the secret answer. They repeatedly said, "There are so many reasons." I said, "Tell me some of them." They said, "Oh, there are many reasons." "Tell. Me. One." "Well, there's A, B and C." Really? They didn't remember any of the conversation we'd been having for the past 45 minutes? By this time I wanted to say, "I'm a really nice person, but, lady, if I knew where you lived I'd put a squirrel in your house." Possibly two.