Spam

I think we can all agree that spam is annoying. And I'm not talking about the stuff in the can. It just sits on the shelf, politely waiting to be picked up. It doesn't jump into my cart as I pass by, forcing me to pay attention to it. That would be annoying. It's the computer spam that I have issues with. The stuff that clogs my email, making me feel as though I'm under siege. I regularly get emails asking me to pay for the jeans, gourmet coffee or car (!) that I recently purchased in London. They are designed to get through the spam filter, but they are easy to spot as junk mail. I haven't worn jeans in decades, I don't drink coffee, and I would probably remember if I'd purchased a car. Not to mention that I wouldn't have bought any of these things in London. If I miss all those clues, there's always the £ sign to get my attention. It's not the unwanted ads that I'm most bothered by. There's a different group of messages that I don't know what to do with. When I purchase something online, I'm immediately on their mailing list down through eternity. I start getting daily notices--or more--from them. I feel stuck. I can't "unsubscribe" or "mark as spam" because I'm afraid I won't be able to get the shipping and billing information I need if I ever buy from them again. Years ago I accidentally sent an email from Staples to spam and it took five years before they forgave me. My personal tech support (daughter) couldn't undo it and it was a pain in the neck sifting through the spam folder to find my rewards coupons. This made me very cautious. There are also the organizations I belong to that send endless messages about upcoming events. Over and over I'm reminded to sign up, then reminders that it's coming are added. Programmers are brilliant. Surely they could fix these websites so that once I sign up, I can stop getting reminders to sign up. Maybe I could even choose how many reminders I get that it's about to happen. Like two, instead of the thirty-two that I currently receive. Dream on, girl. To make talking about this category of spam easier, I'd like it to have a different name. "Companies I want to stay in touch with but don't need to hear from every fourteen hours" is rather unwieldy. Spam Lite? Spamette? Spamish? I could use some help here.