What Do You Mean, You're Cold?

I'm one of those people who is always warm. I also don't find a minute or two of chilly air uncomfortable as I go from my car into a store or office, which is invariably overheated. I got tired of dragging my coat around over my arm which would get soaked in sweat (the arm and the coat), or hanging it somewhere and forgetting it. So I go without. This means I'm frequently accosted in parking lots by elderly women who snap, "Where is your coat?" in a tone of voice suggesting I'm a not-too-bright eight-year-old. I want to say, "Really? Do I look like I can't dress myself?" But I resist, knowing that in their minds the answer is a resounding, "Yes!" Knowing this about myself, I take it into account when meeting people from more southern places, who seem to have no blood flowing through their veins. I bite my tongue when I hear a mother say, "It's freezing!" as she puts mittens and a hat on her child. It's 60º--what are you going to say when it's actually freezing? But it's obvious to me that people used to warmer weather are close to being a different species. In Florida once, on a beautiful, sunny, 72º day, I was going to breakfast wearing my usual short sleeves. After all, 72º and sunny is warm to me. Two women who entered the restaurant in front of me were wearing cropped fur jackets and Uggs. I started to perspire just looking at them. Another time, in California, it was again a beautiful, sunny day and we were going for lunch. When I told the hostess we wanted to sit on the deck she looked slightly stunned, but took us outside. The waiter out there said, ­"You want a table in the sun?" nodding in agreement with himself. I said, "No, I'd like a table with an umbrella." He froze for a beat, momentarily speechless, then recovered and showed us to a shady table. He took our drink orders and dashed inside. My daughter nearly fell off her chair laughing. "You don't understand!" she said. "It's 72º! It's freezing!" I would never describe myself as a Hot Mama, but I'm definitely an extremely warm Oma.